Time was when I wanted to be connected to everything. I mainlined cable news, devoured newspapers and magazines with a passion, and lived and died by the coverage strength of my BlackBerry. At the moment, all I want is to take a few days and manage to get disconnected. Even the iPhone is a bit odious at the moment. Of course now I’ve been jacked in to the grid for so long I don’t know that I’d even know what to do if I did manage to cut loose from it… Although I suspect it would involve some kind of convulsions or perhaps the development of a nervous twitch.
Fact is that I’m mentally worn out from unreasonable expectations from above and disappointing performance from other quarters and from too many factors that are well beyond my ability to control or account for. I know I’m not performing as well as I should be… Certainly not as well as others expect of me and far, far short of what I expect from myself. I’ve always believed in fighting the battles I could win and leaving the others for another day, but lately there have been far too many losing propositions; fights that could have been won if I would have been able to turn my attention towards them in time.
It’s a situation that is simply unsustainable and the solution isn’t to disconnect. I know that. The answer can’t be to throw up my hands and declare it all too hard to do. The only answer I know is to get it all back in focus and then to press forward. The “how to” on that is a little fuzzy at the moment… Rest assured that I’m working hard to figure it out. To be sure, it’s not going to involve disconnecting. For all the aggravation of being tied-in all the time, the thought of not being connected is that is quite simply more terrible than I can bear.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Get Un-American...
I promised myself that I was going to keep my peace on the healthcare debate; that I wouldn’t wade in and simply watch as the accusations and counteraccusations played out… and I’ve managed to keep it shut for a week, which may be a personal best record for me. The fact is that I’m not even sure if I need to be weighing in on this. Anyone who has checked in with any regularity knows where I’m going to fall on the subject. The issue that I’m most impassioned by isn’t the proposed healthcare plan at all, but rather that those who feel passionately about it and who speak out are labeled “un-American” by a Speaker of the House of Representatives.
There are crackpots everywhere. They control the far left of the Democratic party and the far right of the Republican party. They are everything from socialists to religio-fascists. But they have no less right to be heard than those of the silent majority who have remained relatively docile and have avoided staking out a position on either end of the political spectrum. The fact is, I think most of the country finds itself somewhere in the middle and tends to get embarrassed when the extremists on either side get too loud or gain to much press attention. Lord knows, I’m a proud conservative (at least on fiscal issues), but I cringe every time James Dobson or Dr. Laura show up with a microphone in front of their face. It infuriates me that they are the popular image of the American conservative, but I digress.
I like that the House website has nearly buckled under the strain of traffic that this debate has driven to it. I like that members of Congress on both sides of the aisle are taking their elected representatives to tasks on both side of the aisle. I like that the administration has been struggling mightily to regain control of the message and make its points. It’s all together right and proper that all sides make their points and that this storm blow long and hard across the land. It’s the very lifeblood of America and gives me the vaguest sense of hope that the country has not become too passive to take on the hard issues.
So yes, friends, we owe it to ourselves to do what is hard. Read the bills that are before Congress and tell your elected representative what you think, not what the talking heads on CNN of Fox tell you. Do your homework and get informed. And if that means I'm un-American, I guess I'll be ok with that.
My name is Jeffrey D. Tharp and I approved this message.
There are crackpots everywhere. They control the far left of the Democratic party and the far right of the Republican party. They are everything from socialists to religio-fascists. But they have no less right to be heard than those of the silent majority who have remained relatively docile and have avoided staking out a position on either end of the political spectrum. The fact is, I think most of the country finds itself somewhere in the middle and tends to get embarrassed when the extremists on either side get too loud or gain to much press attention. Lord knows, I’m a proud conservative (at least on fiscal issues), but I cringe every time James Dobson or Dr. Laura show up with a microphone in front of their face. It infuriates me that they are the popular image of the American conservative, but I digress.
I like that the House website has nearly buckled under the strain of traffic that this debate has driven to it. I like that members of Congress on both sides of the aisle are taking their elected representatives to tasks on both side of the aisle. I like that the administration has been struggling mightily to regain control of the message and make its points. It’s all together right and proper that all sides make their points and that this storm blow long and hard across the land. It’s the very lifeblood of America and gives me the vaguest sense of hope that the country has not become too passive to take on the hard issues.
So yes, friends, we owe it to ourselves to do what is hard. Read the bills that are before Congress and tell your elected representative what you think, not what the talking heads on CNN of Fox tell you. Do your homework and get informed. And if that means I'm un-American, I guess I'll be ok with that.
My name is Jeffrey D. Tharp and I approved this message.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Aftermath...
I dearly love seeing my old friends. Despite the wonders of the electronic age, we all still pretty much suck at keeping in touch with one another. And nothing is quite the same as being together one more time and for a brief moment and putting aside our professional decorum, the responsibility of hearth and home, and for a while just being the guys again. No matter what anyone says, farts are still funny and there is something priceless in spending time with people who know all your mistakes and still put up with you.
Of course tere is also the aftermath of recapturing lost youth... when your body and brain remind you that despite your best efforts you're not 17 any more... And there's a reason you don't stay out till 3 in the morning now. My gait was definitely a little slower this morning and I could have probably gone to bed right after dinner, but all things considered, I wouldn't have missed this weekend for the world. Thanks guys!
Of course tere is also the aftermath of recapturing lost youth... when your body and brain remind you that despite your best efforts you're not 17 any more... And there's a reason you don't stay out till 3 in the morning now. My gait was definitely a little slower this morning and I could have probably gone to bed right after dinner, but all things considered, I wouldn't have missed this weekend for the world. Thanks guys!
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Counting...
Counting Crows is one of those bands that takes me back to a very specific time and place in life. They laid down the soundtrack to most of my college days and some of my best memories revolve around listening to their CDs or listening to someone pick out their tunes on their guitar. Finally getting the chance to see them in person tonight was a real thrill for me. As much as I don't want to sound like a teenaged girl, all I can say is that it was a seriously moving experience.
Tonight's show was basically a two and a half hour jam session with Augustana. There were no real sets to speak of and band members sat in on each others songs throughout the night. Really a tour de force performance with a lead singer who was very obviously in pain from a knee injury, but kept coming back for more even when he needed help getting off the stage. I'm just incredibly impressed and excited to have been there for the show. So, this summers tour is highly recommended and I'd definitely pony up the money if I had the chance to see them again.
It's been a great day and an even better night. I'm going to bed with a grin on my face and some truly fantastic memories.
Tonight's show was basically a two and a half hour jam session with Augustana. There were no real sets to speak of and band members sat in on each others songs throughout the night. Really a tour de force performance with a lead singer who was very obviously in pain from a knee injury, but kept coming back for more even when he needed help getting off the stage. I'm just incredibly impressed and excited to have been there for the show. So, this summers tour is highly recommended and I'd definitely pony up the money if I had the chance to see them again.
It's been a great day and an even better night. I'm going to bed with a grin on my face and some truly fantastic memories.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Bubba...
I always thought it would be a cold day in hell before I’d find myself taking my hat off to former president Clinton. I’ve grudgingly admitted in the past that he was probably a once in a generation mind and arguably had more raw political skill than any president of the 20th century. But seriously, pulling off a trip to North Korea, launching a full fledged comeback as America’s senior statesman, and all while his wife is Secretary of State is something I would have never imagined within the realm of possibility. He really is masterful that way.
In the warm glow of almost a decade’s distance, I have to admit that I’ve come to like Bill more than I ever did while he was in office. Perhaps that has something to do with him no longer being able to foist wild-ass policies on the populace while at the same time still being fun to watch. Oh, I still think a president ought to have more respect for the institution and the office than his decision-making allowed, but I have to admit that Bubba had a good day today… Although in fairness, I would have rather seen him bitch slap Kim Jong-Il just so the little troll knows America’s pimp hand is still strong.
In the warm glow of almost a decade’s distance, I have to admit that I’ve come to like Bill more than I ever did while he was in office. Perhaps that has something to do with him no longer being able to foist wild-ass policies on the populace while at the same time still being fun to watch. Oh, I still think a president ought to have more respect for the institution and the office than his decision-making allowed, but I have to admit that Bubba had a good day today… Although in fairness, I would have rather seen him bitch slap Kim Jong-Il just so the little troll knows America’s pimp hand is still strong.
Sunday, August 2, 2009
The hazards of blogging...
Keeping a personal blog is like walking a razor between sharing enough to keep things interesting and holding enough back to keep some semblance of privacy. At the moment, there are a number of things I want to write down as well as many that I have scribbled notes for already. Unfortunately, most of those fall into the category of things that I will never be brave or foolish enough to publish. So that leaves me alone with my neatly typed out thoughts and a blank space where my next blog should be. Of course there is something delightfully tempting about flooding the interwebs with post after post and laying bare the mental gymnastics I go through when deciding what to post and what will not see the light of day. But, at heart I remain an intensely private person whose best course for years has been in keeping his own counsel. So again tonight, I will sign off with the simple promise that there are better posts to come... Assuming, that is, I can get myself unmuddled and back down to business.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
JAX...
Usually my best gripes and complaints come from the road. At the moment, that well is pretty dry. We spent most of today going over paper work and doing some preliminary reading for tomorrow. We have an early start tomorrow at 6:45, though, so that could be something getting lined up. TDY isn't about getting up early, or rather it shouldn't be. So yeah, tomorrow looks to be the marathon day of this trip. If we can wrap it up by having more answers that questions, I'll consider the day a success. Then it's back to Memphis for the next round and to start getting the heavy duty report put together. Should be fun.
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